Q&A for Elon Musk's "Making Humans a Multiplanetary Species" Speech

Wednesday, September 28, 2016 3 minute read

Today, Elon Musk took the stage to give a speech called 'Making Humans a Multiplanetary Species'. He supposes it is very important for the human species to get off Earth and colonize Mars.

After the Q&A that followed the speech, I'm not so sure I agree.

First, lets take a look at what Aldo had to say:

Very nice to meet you, my name is Aldo. Three weeks ago I was at Burning Man, in the Nevada desert, and I felt like I was in Mars. It was a dusty storm, and it was really cold at night and there was no water. But there was one problem at Burning Man: with a population of only seventy-five thousand, there was a lot of shit. And there was no water to take it into the rivers, which is kind of what we do today with our current sanitation system. So I was like, is this what Mars is going to be like? Just a dusty waterless shit storm? So I was like, hey Elon, are you working on a sustainable sanitation? Are we gonna have a toilet on Mars that doesn't use water? Today on Earth there's three billion people that don't have a toilet, so, are you working on a toilet for Mars?

Oh boy. Surely, that was just a one-off mistake, and the rest of the questions would be properly vetted. This is at the International Astronautical Conference, after all. There had to be some bright minds in that room! Next question:

Hey Elon, sick rocket, you're the best. Everyone give it up for Elon, this guy inspires the shit out of us. I've got a gift for you, it's a comic book called The Future of Fusion. It's about the first man on Mars. He looks like you. I can't get past El Chapo's militia, though. So I don't know should I just throw this onto the stage? Can I give you this gift?

Oh. Oh my, this isn't going to get better, is it? Hang on, let's see what Funny or Die has to say:

Hey Elon, so, can't wait for the SpaceX Improbability Drive. You've often talked about wanting to inspire the masses and push technology forward. I'm developing a series with Funny or Die which is like the top online comedy site. It's about you sending someone to Mars, but kind of like that first monkey that got shot into space, they're never coming back. It's gonna be a one-way trip. So, you mathematically determine the most expendable human being to make the journey. And that's Michael Cera. So, wanted to see if this is like, a project that you might have any interest in supporting. Funny or Die just drove thirty-one million views to a Hillary Clinton/Zack Galafanakis video a few days ago. I wanted to see if you might want to talk about it after.

Another? Why not:

Hello Elon, my name is Alfonso. I think what you presented today is just incredible. But I wanted to change the topic. I have a startup to make electric public transport buses, to convert... [Elon says "space questions only, please"] Sorry, the thing is, I just got my prototype outside and it would be awesome if you could go out and see it.

Fortunately, at that point he just ignored the organizer saying they had time for one more question and walked off the stage. Bravo, but please, no encore.